An Ocean of Calm

 I was sitting, listening to my itunes music yesterday for a purpose.  The purpose, was to find a song or two that I would like to use for Quinn's 1st year picture/video slide show.   Just typing that seems so surreal.  Our baby, our mighty Quinn, the Quinnster, Quinner, Quinny Winnie, our dynamo, Quinn Evelyn, will be one year old in another month.  As I was going through songs, there are so many songs produced as love songs, that I could sing from the depths of my soul for my babies.  For the two little beings who turned me from a daughter, my parents' child, into a mother.  Into someone whose first thought isn't of myself anymore, but is for my babies.  Each of them has this very special place in my heart.
 So I'm about tears singing song after song to my babies, innocently eating their lunch, and then the song, Oceans, by Hillsong United came on (click on the link to watch/listen!).  I pretty much lost it.  I distinctly remember this song playing during my labor with Quinn, and I was immediately taken back to that moment.  So clearly, I remember the pain and the calm, all wrapped up into one.
  It is so funny to me, how my children came into this world so differently.  Palmer, my chill laid back kiddo, came into this world in a painful frenzy!  It was an unexpected un-medicated birth all the way until the end.  I stalled out, and then, as if my body said "ooooooohhhhh, that's what you want me to do?!" I went from 3cm to 9.5cm in an hour.  I was out of it, and it was total insanity.  None of the nurses would listen to me, and it was infuriating.  On the other hand, my firecracker, my daredevil, my sassy one, Miss Quinn, came into this world in the most calm manner possible (well as calm as a birth can be).  I was prepared mentally for a natural birth this time, mostly because I thought it would be a very quick birth, and I just prayed it wouldn't be in the car on the way to the hospital!  But instead, we were ushered down from an appointment to the birthing suite, and I had options.  All I wanted was a birthing tub, my husband by my side, and my playlist. (And our photographer, Kate Podjan!)
  I look back on this song with such fondness.  Forever it will be a time in which I felt a distinct calmness that came over me, from outside of me.  It came from a presence of God washing over me.  I thank God for that amazing experience, and every day since, that has been filled with such blessings, in the two little people that now depend on me.  Thank you God!! I do not thank you enough for the storms in this life that you walk with me (or labor with me) through.

 

She's taking STEPS! Our baby is stepping...

 I hardly call it walking, but given the right motivation, say a brother sitting on the potty, or a toy that she wants badly, Quinn walked 3 steps yesterday.  For quite some time, she has been doing this balancing/surfing thing.  We have been thinking that she would be walking soon after, but the surfing has continued to stay steady.  Then a couple days ago she did it. She took a step towards me.  Then it was a few episodes of taking a step.  Then yesterday, it was 2-3 steps in succession.  GULP.  This is where it starts, folks.  This is how infants turn to babies, turn to toddlers, and then they go to College.  Oh my gosh, she's going to college soon.
  But in all seriousness, I'm trying not to think about it, because the fact that she is our "last baby" makes me sad.  Every first for her, is also a last for us as parents.  I'm just going to enjoy these moments as they come.  I love our sweet determined Quinn.  I admire her determination. There is no telling this girl "no."

Here she is this week.  Miss Spunk.  Miss determination.  So proud she's one of us.

Wait... where's OLIVER?!?!

  Oliver is kind of like our first born.  He was our baby before we had any babies of our own.  So, I never ever imagined we would ever leave him behind.  But then we did.
  Yesterday, we planned a last minute trip up to Fort Wayne.  Ross had to go for work anyway, and since I am not working in Louisville yet, we are pretty flexible in being able to go along.  I needed to get a replacement ID anyway, so it just made sense.  The plan: pack up before bed, drive up while the kids slept in the car.  Bring Oliver with.  We did all of those things... except the last step.
  In the frenzy of getting Quinn fed, the car loaded, the toddler strapped in tightly, with his bear.  And his water.  Oh, and a snack.  No, the other bear!  (do you see where this is going??) We let Oliver roam the yard a bit.  Last second, after the rest of the "circus" is loaded into the car, we always call for Oliver, he jumps in the car, and we take turns over which lap he is sitting on.  We always had done that anyway.
  We didn't notice anything at first.  We stopped.  We got gas in the car.  We turned the sound machine on for Quinn to begin sleeping, and we got on the highway.  We made it over the bridge, and then we hit traffic.  At the time, it seemed to be a pain to sit in bumper to bumper traffic.  Little did we know, it was actually a blessing in disguise.  All of a sudden there was a smell.  I said, "Ross? Did you fart?!"  All offended, he told me know and suggested maybe it was Oliver.  WAIT.  OLIVER.  WHERE IS OLIVER?!?!?!  Oh, my gosh.  WE LEFT HIM.
  This is when panic sets in.  Is he in the yard?  He's freezing!  He has been outside, in January, for over an hour.  He just had a haircut, so he doesn't even have a "winter coat" on!  Or worse, maybe he ran off.  Maybe he chased our car down the street?? What if he gets hit?
  Ross turns the car around.  We are 45 miles from home.   I started hyperventilating.  Then crying.  I was trying not to start sobbing, as Ross rubs my back.  We start calling everyone we know.  Being that we live in a new city where we don't know many people, the options are limited.  We call a friend we just made, we call our neighbor and leave a message (who doesn't have a cell phone, only a land line!!) We call the dog sitter we used one time.  No one answers, until I call our REALTOR.  I called our realtor, people!  I felt so back calling her, but this was an emergency.  She said she would drive right over.
  About 25 minutes later, we hear from her.  I am RELIEVED!  She has a very suspicious Oliver in her car.  She said that she found him on the side of our house.  Honestly, I think that he was trying to find a way into our back yard.  He was tying any way to get inside.  Poor little guy!

 On a funny note, our realtor (Laura Audrey, who is AWESOME!) did find a friend for Oliver in her car, though I feel as though he was less than impressed. LOL!

  We decided that it was too late to head to Ft. Wayne at that point (womp womp) and that Ross would just head there in the morning by himself.  Oliver snuggled into the bed, and I held onto him a little bit tighter.  It is funny how you think you have "just a dog." Or that life would be just the same without them.  But they really are family.  Oliver has been by my side, trying to steal my bed space through SO much.  He has witnessed my graduation from college, he stole my mom's heart with regards to dogs, he witnessed Ross and I dating, engaged, married.  He watched as my belly grew large two times, as we welcomed Palmer and Quinn (and watched Ross and I turn into someone else's mom and dad).  He has been through a move to South Bend, Indianapolis, Fort Wayne, and now to Louisville.  He is not a perfect dog.  But he is OUR dog.  We love him, and he is a big part of our family.  So, this morning, I am happy to have him to snuggle.   I am happy to have him "guard" our house. I am so happy to watch our kids love on him.  He is safe at home, with us, right where he should be.  It is safe to say that we will be MUCH more observant as we are heading out of town in the future.  Sheesh!!

Quinn just LOVES her brother!

  Sometimes having two kids is completely overwhelming.... (read my last post)... and other days it is down right rewarding, and utterly adorable.  Yesterday, both kids were at the table eating a snack, and Quinn found Palmer incredibly amusing.  He would look at her.  She would laugh.  He would make a face.  She would laugh.  He would make a noise.  She would laugh.  It went on for about 20 or so minutes.  Of course, my phone/camera were out in the car.  Thank goodness for multiple tech devices!  Ipad to the rescue! :)

  The day was also filled with getting ready to head to Fort Wayne for New Years festivities with Ross' family, and we also made a quick little trip to the St. Matthews Library.  It was nice to get the kids out, read some new books (well Palmer listened to stories, Quinn just played with toys and my keys...)
  Looking forward to visiting with Uncle Sean and Aunt Meredith, Ross' parents, Falkensteins, and my BFF, Heidi and her family, as we all come together for NYE festivities! 

The mornings when you want to quit...

 I know my life is great.  Better than most. .... Most moments.  Most days.  I have two amazing children, an adorable roof over our heads, loving family and friends that surround us. Somedays are just rough, though.

 I don't know if it's the move, or putting the kids in the same room together, our small creaky house, or something else... But the kids don't seem to be getting as much sleep as they need.  And then they are fussy.  And this mama, who loves them more than just about anything in this world, needs a break.   The screaming.  The whining. The fits.  Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.  Sip coffee. Repeat.

 

Camp Christmas.... Continued!

  This past weekend up at the cabin (for Vance Christmas 2015) was so incredibly fun!  It was a new tradition in the making, as we all spent a weekend away at a cabin in Nashville (Indiana) and "got away" so to speak.  We ate food, the kids made and ate treats, we roasted marshmallows, went on hiking "adventures" (Palmer was so excited - he sang "We're going on a walk, we're going on a walk, hi-ho the dario, we're going on a walk!" Cutest thing ever, pretty much!)
  Also, per usual, my parents were BEYOND BEYOND generous!  The kids loved playing with their toys - and it was so much fun to watch them put legos together, play games, serve "tea" and play "doctor." (I ran up some pretty good medical bills! (lol!)
Anyway, it was a weekend spent away at a cabin in the woods.... our family's new "Camp Christmas!"  I can't wait for next year! :)

Just a bit of the weekend fun!

Quinn... Aunt Jone, 60 years later!

A little project that I'm working on right now, is getting a Christmas picture of the kids to put next to a very special picture of Quinn's mimi (Jerri) and her Aunt Jonie.  The picture of them, was taken in 1956, and Jone was almost the exact same age as Quinn is right now.  Quinn is almost 60 years younger, to the day, and these two special ladies look very much alike!  It is uncanny!  It also doesn't hurt that Quinn and Jone are both 2nd borns, both fearless, both laugh in the face of "you can't do that!"  We so have our work cut out for ourselves, but I just love our Jerraid girl!!

Merry Christmas from my little cuties.... 2015! (Photo comparison will be forth coming...)