It has been ten days. Ten very long days.
I was naive after my first couple days back at work. I started on a Thursday, and at the end of the week, I felt like it wasn't so bad. I had two full days of work, but Palmer only had one full day, and a half day due to Ross being able to work from home on his first Friday (yay for light court day). I got home, I held Palmer, relaxed with Ross. I felt fulfilled from working. I felt like it wouldn't be so bad.
Then this week happened. And, boy, what a week it was.
Monday started out fabulous. I kept getting text messages from Linda. Alice and Palmer are having a blast, and Palmer even had his first "kiss!" It was too cute, and I loved seeing these pictures while I was at work!
In the meanwhile at work, I start feeling "off." Nothing to write home about, but off. After work, I pick up Palmer and we go home. Ross' mom came Monday night because she was watching Palmer on Tuesday and my plan was for Ross and I to go on a date after Palmer went to sleep... but I just didn't feel up to it. After Palmer went to sleep, so did I.
Tuesday was rough at work. I didn't feel on my game. I know I am still getting back into the swing of things, but I just felt so off. I could have sworn there was a full moon. All I wanted to do was sleep when I got home. But, there just wasn't time to sleep! Palmer had his very first swim lesson! Before we went to the swim lesson, Ross and Jerri went out to eat (I passed since nothing was sounding appealing, and all I wanted to do was spend time with Palmer). While they went out to eat, Palmer and I rocked in his glider and we both took a cat nap together. (Hindsight tells me this was a bad choice...) Jerri and Ross arrived home, and we raced off to Palmer's first swim lesson.
When we first arrived, they told us they wouldn't be having infant lessons. I knew I had signed up for this night, and I had paid, and after checking further, it was confirmed that we had, in fact, paid to be there. It was just a mix up, and was quickly sorted out. Ross got in the pool with Palmer, and PALMER LOVED IT! He was splashing and going nuts! Ross loves that Palmer loves the water - my two fish! It was so much fun watching them, and I was happy that "Mimi" was able to come along!
This is about when the fun of the week ended.
First of all, I was already worn out from two days of working, and I was ready to be done. Knowing what I know now, I guess it makes sense. I was getting sick. I went to bed, once again, right after Palmer went to bed. Ross gave me a dose of NyQuil, and I drifted off to sleep. Problem is, with NyQuil in your system, you really should stay asleep! I kept waking up, worrying if I had everything that Palmer needed for daycare the next day. I usually pack the bag the night before, but I was feeling so awful, that I just couldn't. When ever I woke up, a wave of sickness came over me. I was hot. Then I was cold. Then felt like I was dying. Repeat. Repeat. It was not a fun night. When I woke up again at 5:30, I decided there wasn't any way I could survive work. At least on Tuesday, if I was sitting down or laying down, I felt fine. That was not the case on Wednesday. Even though staying home felt better health wise, staying home was also torture. It was torture because I felt awful for being home the first week I went back to work, but mostly it felt horrible because Palmer was in the other room, and I couldn't hold him or play with him. I didn't want to get him sick, so when I would walk out in the living room to get anything, and Palmer would crawl towards me, Ross would have to pick him up and move him back. {insert sad face}. By the end of the day, I was feeling at least well enough where I could go back to work the next day. Once again, I went to bed right after Palmer.
Palmer headed to Linda's Thursday, but he was not seeming right. He was acting tired and lethargic. I get sent a sleepy picture long before he should be feeling sleepy, and my gut is telling me something isn't right. He sleeps for four hours while at Linda's. This just wasn't normal! At first I thought he was just making up for the long and fun day he had on Tuesday, but due to a few other clues (which I will spare the blogosphere) we could tell that he was not well. The biggest concern was his dehydration. After another evening nap in his glider, we decided to call the pediatrician. We also decided to skip swim lessons.
Ross' dad was staying at our house, and seeing that Palmer was not well, traded Friday schedules with Ross so he could get back sooner to be with Palmer, and they also called Jerri and she volunteers to come watch Palmer on Friday (being safe as to not get Alice sick at Linda's house). We are so lucky to have a supportive family.
It's at this point in time - it was actually when I was heading into Kroger to buy Palmer the pedialite, that the strangest feeling came over me. You know when you are sick, and you want your mom? Well, it wasn't me who was sick, it was my baby. But I just wanted my mom. I think knowing that she's far away, and can't just come down (relatively) easily, made me miss her that much more. Even though my parents live over 3 hours away normally, it still feels like you could visit anytime, and if I really need them, I know they can be there. With them in Thailand, this just isn't the case. I know they want to be here, but they have to be here in spirit for a while. At that moment, I couldn't have missed them any more. The next morning, when I expressed this to Jerri, and told her how thankful I was that she was there, we both teared up. It meant a lot to me that she was there, and it was a relief knowing that even though Palmer wasn't 100%, that I didn't have to worry one bit while I was away.
If the week's craziness stopped there, it wouldn't have been so bad, but the weekend was jam packed with events (which were fun events) and it left little downtime with Palmer. After a week of being at work or being sick and not really spending much quality time with him, it just felt like too much.
When I arrived home from work Friday, I just wanted to play with Palmer, cuddle him, and enjoy his talking, make faces at him, and do nothing else. Instead, I had to get ready for an overnight with my high school girls (which, like I said was fun, but it just wasn't the best timing). This was all compounded by the fact that Ross is sick on the couch. If I had a second leader for my high schoolers, I would have stayed with Palmer until he went to bed, but this just wasn't an option. Poor Ross, sick himself, had to care for Palmer until bedtime. That's just what you have to do when you are a parent. You do what you have to do.
On Saturday when I arrived home, we had about an hour before we headed off to our friend Brad Geswein's sister's wedding. My coworker, Michelle Brooks, came over and watched Palmer for us - hung out with him before he went to bed, and then tucked him in, and stayed at our house so we could stay out. We had a sitter for the first time EVER to put him to sleep.... and Ross still isn't feeling well! We didn't stay at the reception too long (maybe 10:15) and then he needed to come home and go to sleep. Although it stinks that we couldn't stay out longer, it did teach us that Palmer can be put to bed by someone else, and we can head out and have some fun just the two of us. It is REALLY important that we continue to keep this in mind, because our marriage is not only important to us, but also for Palmer. Our strength as a unit, gives Palmer security.
I'm praying this week is less hectic than last. I heard going back to work was hard, but I just never realized how hard it was to balance everything. It's crazy, but we'll get it down eventually (I hope!)
All good things (like bath time) must come to an end. Like Ross' PJ pants?! These two guys are my FAVORITE!
